Recently, for some reason, a number of people have been coming to me with their personal problems. I do not know why. I will be the first to admit that I am not the smartest guy around. Heck, I've only read the internet once (so far). Some of this stuff I find basically stupid. Some of it I find way out of my league. Some things I really don't care to comment on, while other things I do have to think about---and be careful what I say! Feel free to help me out with some of this stuff if you'd like, you don't even need to leave your name if you don't want to (drop down menu ). A few examples.....
A friend of mines daughter is graduating high school. She just now decides she would like to go to college. No problem here so far, but........no concept of deadlines!!! Financial aid forms? Due today? Not even filled out yet! Ah, she'll get a scholarship. Really? Ooops.....Geez, I called them, why won't they give her more aid? Loans? Ah, she'll get a good job and be able to pay 'em off. I directed him to a few articles I've read over the years. Guess we should have planned better he says. I says check into the military.....basically stupid.
Another guy has a 19 year old daughter away at college. Now so far this sounds familiar. Tells me she is not coming home from college this summer, is planning to stay at school and take a couple of classes. Okay, so? He finds out the new boyfriend also is spending the summer at school. He figures he knows what is going on, and it ain't going to be studying. I laugh, but inside am thinking about my kids. Thinking for a second, I ask him "What are ya' gonna do?" When it comes right down to it, she is an adult now and can pretty much do as she chooses. He says he holds the hammer, as he pays the tuition and things. I do the same! But this is what I tell him. There is no way your going to be there every second. You need to hope you've raised them right. Probably best not to make your kid mad---just tell her your expectations and see what happens. What else ya' gonna do? Common sense I think....
Now I don't work with many women, and I talk with even fewer. Why on earth would one of them try to talk to me about what she thinks her husband is doing on the side? No no no no.....too much information, can't help ya there, not getting involved. End of this story right now! NO COMMENT!!!
Finally, I have the friend whose son comes home from college and brings the girlfriend with him. I say that's nice. Then he drops this one on me. Kid asks the parents where the girlfriend is going to sleep. Now this is interesting (thinking to myself again). These kids are over 21 and have been away at college. I once was over 21 and away at college. I remember what goes on at college. I have 2 kids away at college. Not sure I'm comfortable with what I remember. I ask him what the options are....he tells me he told them they could sleep where they wanted. I told him I thought he was very open minded about things, good for him. He said bad for him, wife was not very happy. So I asked him what he did when he was his kids age. He thought about it for a bit and said he probably had to have a little talk with his wife. I thought about it for a bit, and decided I'd better do the same----before I had that conversation myself! Gotta do some thinking here...
I don't know how I turned into the local Dr. Phil. Suppose I should be honored people seek my opinion, but I'm always fearful of bad advice. And I try not to say anything unless asked. But if you ask me......
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