I have spent the last three days celebrating my son's graduation from St. Louis University. I have had a wonderful time with my family as we recount his achievements and accomplishments. I have enjoyed seeing and meeting his friends. Today I will leave St. Louis, worried and sad.
I am a parent, so I get to worry about my boy. I worry that he no longer has structure in his life. No more track practice. No more classes to get to, nothing to study for. No more busses or planes to catch. No reasons to get up early or not to stay up late.
I worry that he is worried that he hasn't found a job yet. He is a teacher, and I know from experience that teaching positions, especially first ones, sometimes don't come until later in the summer. Still I worry.
I worry about where he is going to live. Of course, this goes back to my previous worry, it depends on where he will be working. He's got housing for a couple of more months, but they aren't going to let him live on campus forever.
I worry that he is going to be alone. There is no family here. And whether he likes it or not, his track family is scattering to all parts of the county. They're off to Chicago and Texas and Washington and who knows where else. Even the underclassmen go home for the summer. I worry that not only does he have nothing to do, but nobody to do it with.
And I am sad, not only for my boy but for myself. I actually don't know when I will see him again. I can't look at the calendar and say track meet in two weeks, or Easter break in a month. These things no longer exist for him, therefore for me either. I am sad that I won't get to see some of his friends anymore, some who I have followed for the past four years.
As far as being sad though, I am mostly sad for my son that there are people who he has spent the majority of his time with for the last four years whom he probably will never see again. People have come here from all over the country and world to learn and to compete. He has spent countless hours with them, and suddenly you don't see them anymore. They get jobs, move back home, live life. You get busy with your life, and time takes it's toll. All your left with are your memories.
So I leave St. Louis, worried and sad......
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Saturday, May 10, 2014
The Commencement Address
In a week or so here my son will graduate from college, and I will once again sit through a commencement address. I think it will be my ninth one, and truth be known I don't remember a thing about any of them. Since I am not rich, a politician, movie star or famous athlete, I have no fear of ever having to give a commencement address. However, I have paid attention and read some things, and I would have some advice to share........
After the obligatory welcomes and opening remarks, I would start by congratulating all the new doctors and lawyers and teachers and accountants and scientists and all the other professions. And I would challenge them not to be good at what they have chosen to do, but to be great, because we need great. We have lots of problems in this world, and we're going to need great to solve them. I would encourage them to find a job they really like. I have known to many people who "hate my job". Your are going to be working for a long time. I'm not saying you need to love it, and sometimes you have to have to do what you have to do, but life will be better when you don't dread heading of to work.
Pay yourself first!! I am sure everyone has heard this. I know when you first start earning money you will think you're rich. I know retirement is probably the last thing on your mind. I also have learned the magic of compounding. If these is an employer match, you need to contribute enough to have it kick in. You will probably need to make sacrifices in what you want and can afford. You will put off saving for your golden years. Don't do it. You're going to want to enjoy your old age, and it will be hard to do without planning.
The country and the world are magnificent places. Get out and see as much of them as you possibly can. I believe that there is so much to see and do you will never be able to do it all. I encourage folks to travel to see the sights, learn the history, meet the people. It's a really interesting country and world. If I could, I would spend my money on experiences rather than possessions. With apologies to the business graduates who want us to have more stuff, I would say the experiences are more valuable--and they take up less space!!
Take care of your health!! With apologies to the new health care professionals, you will save a fortune by not having to visit these folks. I'm not talking about well care and accidents here. I'm talking about watching what you eat, getting some exercise, basic stuff like this. Folks get diseases, break bones, have babies...we need the doctors for stuff like this. Try not to put yourself in further peril by your actions or inactions.
Most of you probably will have families one day, spouses, partners, children. Family life isn't always easy. You will need to make sacrifices and compromise. If you decide to have children, and then are lucky enough to have them, you will face more challenges. Please don't be one of these folks I hear saying I can't wait for summer to be over so you can get back to school or I can't wait for you to grow up and move out. You brought them into this world. Cherish them, they will be gone soon enough.
Technology and innovations are moving at a tremendous pace. I can't believe the changes in the last twenty five years or so. You can basically walk around with the entire knowledge of the world in your pocket. I would imagine that things will continue to evolve. This being said, I would encourage you to take your ear buds out every once in awhile, turn off the phone, and actually talk with one another once in awhile. People are interesting, and when you really think about it, we don't just talk with one another nearly as much as we should.
Try not to judge people before you get to know them. People will give you plenty of reasons to either like or dislike them. They don't choose their race, or where they're from, or who they love. These things really don't matter in the overall scheme of things. Don't use them in your judgment of them.
Life is not a spectator sport. Get involved. Whether it is coaching that little league team, volunteering at the soup kitchen or running for President, do something. You can always do more. Yes you can! Will it be easy? Nothing that is really worth it ever is really easy. Don't settle. Not in your personal life, not in your professional life, not in your spiritual life. Average is not good enough. You can do better. You must do better. You will do better. I have confidence in you.
Finally, some final thoughts. You have been given much, and earned much. Much is now expected of you. On your way up, try not to forget those not as fortunate. Lend a hand where you can. In the overall scheme of things, we are all only here for a spec of time. Try to make the most of it. It is truly a wonderful world. You'll get through the rough times, try to enjoy the good. You are our future, and we are depending on you. I believe our future is in good hands. Congratulations to you all. You have already accomplished much. Look forward to what is yet to come....
After the obligatory welcomes and opening remarks, I would start by congratulating all the new doctors and lawyers and teachers and accountants and scientists and all the other professions. And I would challenge them not to be good at what they have chosen to do, but to be great, because we need great. We have lots of problems in this world, and we're going to need great to solve them. I would encourage them to find a job they really like. I have known to many people who "hate my job". Your are going to be working for a long time. I'm not saying you need to love it, and sometimes you have to have to do what you have to do, but life will be better when you don't dread heading of to work.
Pay yourself first!! I am sure everyone has heard this. I know when you first start earning money you will think you're rich. I know retirement is probably the last thing on your mind. I also have learned the magic of compounding. If these is an employer match, you need to contribute enough to have it kick in. You will probably need to make sacrifices in what you want and can afford. You will put off saving for your golden years. Don't do it. You're going to want to enjoy your old age, and it will be hard to do without planning.
The country and the world are magnificent places. Get out and see as much of them as you possibly can. I believe that there is so much to see and do you will never be able to do it all. I encourage folks to travel to see the sights, learn the history, meet the people. It's a really interesting country and world. If I could, I would spend my money on experiences rather than possessions. With apologies to the business graduates who want us to have more stuff, I would say the experiences are more valuable--and they take up less space!!
Take care of your health!! With apologies to the new health care professionals, you will save a fortune by not having to visit these folks. I'm not talking about well care and accidents here. I'm talking about watching what you eat, getting some exercise, basic stuff like this. Folks get diseases, break bones, have babies...we need the doctors for stuff like this. Try not to put yourself in further peril by your actions or inactions.
Most of you probably will have families one day, spouses, partners, children. Family life isn't always easy. You will need to make sacrifices and compromise. If you decide to have children, and then are lucky enough to have them, you will face more challenges. Please don't be one of these folks I hear saying I can't wait for summer to be over so you can get back to school or I can't wait for you to grow up and move out. You brought them into this world. Cherish them, they will be gone soon enough.
Technology and innovations are moving at a tremendous pace. I can't believe the changes in the last twenty five years or so. You can basically walk around with the entire knowledge of the world in your pocket. I would imagine that things will continue to evolve. This being said, I would encourage you to take your ear buds out every once in awhile, turn off the phone, and actually talk with one another once in awhile. People are interesting, and when you really think about it, we don't just talk with one another nearly as much as we should.
Try not to judge people before you get to know them. People will give you plenty of reasons to either like or dislike them. They don't choose their race, or where they're from, or who they love. These things really don't matter in the overall scheme of things. Don't use them in your judgment of them.
Life is not a spectator sport. Get involved. Whether it is coaching that little league team, volunteering at the soup kitchen or running for President, do something. You can always do more. Yes you can! Will it be easy? Nothing that is really worth it ever is really easy. Don't settle. Not in your personal life, not in your professional life, not in your spiritual life. Average is not good enough. You can do better. You must do better. You will do better. I have confidence in you.
Finally, some final thoughts. You have been given much, and earned much. Much is now expected of you. On your way up, try not to forget those not as fortunate. Lend a hand where you can. In the overall scheme of things, we are all only here for a spec of time. Try to make the most of it. It is truly a wonderful world. You'll get through the rough times, try to enjoy the good. You are our future, and we are depending on you. I believe our future is in good hands. Congratulations to you all. You have already accomplished much. Look forward to what is yet to come....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)