Leaving St. Louis

I have spent the last three days celebrating my son's graduation from St. Louis University.  I have had a wonderful time with my family as we recount his achievements and accomplishments.  I have enjoyed seeing and meeting his friends.  Today I will leave St. Louis, worried and sad.

I am a parent, so I get to worry about my boy.  I worry that he no longer has structure in his life.  No more track practice.  No more classes to get to, nothing to study for.  No more busses or planes to catch.  No reasons to get up early or not to stay up late.

I worry that he is worried that he hasn't found a job yet.  He is a teacher, and I know from experience that teaching positions, especially first ones, sometimes don't come until later in the summer.  Still I worry. 

I worry about where he is going to live.  Of course, this goes back to my previous worry, it depends on where he will be working.  He's got housing for a couple of more months, but they aren't going to let him live on campus forever.

I worry that he is going to be alone.  There is no family here.  And whether he likes it or not, his track family is scattering to all parts of the county.  They're off to Chicago and Texas and Washington and who knows where else.  Even the underclassmen go home for the summer.  I worry that not only does he have nothing to do, but nobody to do it with.

And I am sad, not only for my boy but for myself.  I actually don't know when I will see him again.  I can't look at the calendar and say track meet in two weeks, or Easter break in a month.  These things no longer exist for him, therefore for me either.  I am sad that I won't get to see some of his friends anymore, some who I have followed for the past four years.

As far as being sad though, I am mostly sad for my son that there are people who he has spent the majority of his time with for the last four years whom he probably will never see again.  People have come here from all over the country and world to learn and to compete.  He has spent countless hours with them, and suddenly you don't see them anymore.  They get jobs, move back home, live life.  You get busy with your life, and time takes it's toll.  All your left with are your memories.

So I leave St. Louis, worried and sad......