Graduation Time Again.....

Well, that time of year has rolled around again, and I'm going to write about a few things I have learned in my fifty some years on the ol' orb.  Hoping that my young friends and family will read this and talk about it and share it and maybe learn from some of my mistakes and experiences.  So here I go....

Congratulations on your recent graduation my young friends.  I am sure you are all excited about your upcoming careers.  I would also imagine that some of you may be getting nervous about finding the perfect first job.  You need to know this.  You may not land your dream job right off the bat.  Doesn't always happen.  Sometimes it never does.  Do not fret.  Stay at it, and things tend to work out.  You need to find that first job in order to get the next, "better" job.

Pay yourself first.  If you have never heard this, somebody has failed you in your education.  In about forty years or so, you will be looking to retire.  You are going to need some funds.  Social security?  Good luck, I hope it is still around.  Learn the miracle of compounding, the Rule of 72.  I am sure you all know a business major.  Ask if you don't know.

Do your best to take care of your health.  You can stay on your parents plan until you are 26 years old. Enjoy it while you can.  You will have premiums and deductibles and co-pays.  It will not be cheap.  There are some things that you can't control.  Stay fit and healthy.  You will save money and be happier.

Apologies to the marketing and advertising and salesmen/women who are my young friends out there, but you don't need everything people are trying to sell you.  Apple will come out with a new product probably every year long after you and I are both gone.  You don't need it just because somebody says you do.  Know the difference between needs and want.  You NEED food and shelter and to be clothed.  You may need a car.  You don't need a new Lexus.  Yet.

You have not won, nor will you ever win, the Nigerian lottery.  Do not be a fool.  You are educated!!  There are people out there who want your money.  They are smart---but lazy.  It is easier for them to steal from you than to earn things on their own.  They are tricky.  So guard your privacy.  Change your passwords---if you think it's a pain now, wait until you're old like me.  Don't make it easy for the leaches to take your stuff---you'll will have worked too hard.

Put the phones down once in awhile and talk to people.  Not text them or IM them.  TALK to them.  It's interesting.  You will probably learn something.  While your at it, take noet of your surroundings.  There is lots of stuff going on around you as you're walking down the street or driving  around looking at your phone.

See the world.  Whether the be your city or state or America or the world.  It is truly a wonderful thing.  Please remember in your travels that although most people are good, danger does lurk.  Know where there is unrest.  I would hate to read about a kidnapping, or worse.  And while I'm on the subject of the world, you have work to do.  The last hundred twenty five years or so, we have really screwed it up.  We have eradicated species and resources, fouled the air and water, just really messed up.  So reduce reuse recycle.  Give a hoot, don't pollute.  You all know the drill.    It's the only earth we have---hope you can save it.

On you handheld device that you use to text and IM and FB and what not, there is a little icon that looks like a handset (goggle it!).  If you punch in a series of numbers, you will be able to TALK to your parents and grandparents if you are lucky enough that they are still around.  CALL US!!  We are interested in how you are doing, if we can help you with anything, if you need anything.  We know stuff.  We won't be around forever.....

Just a couple of more things for now.  Don't compare yourself with others, for always there will be those greater and lesser than you.  Whatever career you choose, try to be the best at it that you can be, whether it be accountant or teacher or ditch digger.  Just do your best.  Have a little humility.  I know a lot of successful people, a lot of people who are good at things.  I would say one of the traits they all share is that they are at least a little humble. 

Never argue with an idiot.

On your way up the ladder, try not to forget those not as successful as you.  Most times it's not their fault.  Help when you can.  Remember, but for the grace of God, there go I......

Finally, life is meant to be LIVED!!  Be involved.  Find solutions.  Cure something.  Start something.  Watch out for each other, take care of each other.  You have already accomplished much---you have much to do.  And once again.....CONGRATULATIONS!!!

The Letter

I am a mailman, have been for a little over 25 years now.  Anyway you look at it, that's a lot of paper and ink.  When I first started the job, I was amazed at how much you can learn about a person or a family just by what they receive in the mail.  I knew when special events were happening, like weddings and birthdays and graduations.  I knew where a person banked, who there favorite sports teams were, if they had outstanding parking tickets, if the IRS was after them.  All kinds of interesting stuff.

As we all know, people don't send near as many letters as they have in the past.  Nearly everyone just drops a short note in emails, makes a quick comment on Facebook or whatever, make a quick call or text, and that's about it.  I started thinking about the last time I got a personal letter in the mail, and for the life of me I can't remember.  I know we get Christmas cards, and some have the "year in review" letter, and there are birthday and anniversary cards, but just a letter?  No clue.

It wasn't always this way of course.  I know for a fact that about thirty years or so ago, people were still sending letters, because I still have them.  Yep, I recently found an old stack of letters from the college days.  Letters from Mom telling me what the sisters were up to, from buddies who had graduated, letters from the misses before she was the Misses.  I found a letter from my Gramma (could tell her writing right away) and even a couple from folks I haven't thought about in years.  It was fun to kind of go back in time and try to remember what was going on in the world, and especially my little part of it.  I don't get that same feeling from old emails----of the few I have kept!!

I guess the personal letter truly is on it's last legs.   I know I have a few older relatives who still write, but I imagine as they get older there will be even fewer letters sent.  I know it's faster and cheaper to just drop an email.  And I know people are pressed for time---or think they are.  And I know I am as guilty as the next for not writing.  But there is just something about putting pen to paper.  And then dropping you thoughts and musings and news in a blue box for somebody else to read a couple of days later.  And then to hold them in your hands, and to keep them if desired.   So I've decided to do my little part.  So friends and relatives, don't be surprised to check the mailbox and find a letter from me.  I've decided one a week will be a good start.  First one is off to the darling daughter---page and a half long, five minutes to write......just need to find a stamp.....

Random Rumblings of a Middle Aged White Guy: Today I Painted Away Twenty Years

Random Rumblings of a Middle Aged White Guy: Today I Painted Away Twenty Years: So the Misses has been after me to paint my sons room.  I did it about eighteen years ago, but she says I need to do it again.  The fact of...

Today I Painted Away Twenty Years

So the Misses has been after me to paint my sons room.  I did it about eighteen years ago, but she says I need to do it again.  The fact of the matter is that the boy has been gone for most of the last couple of years, and the little kid sports theme had to go.  Stew was home for ten days or so, and he packed up the things he wanted in St. Louis and took them with him.  He told us what furniture he needed and the other things he needed, and we hauled them down to St. Louis for him.  It's what he left behind that got me...

There are the pennants from the Milwaukee Wave (local indoor soccer team).  In the late 90's and early 00's we were at the games a lot.  It got to the point where we were almost like season ticket holders.  We got to know the players, their wives, and watched them win championships.  There were camps and tournaments---spent lots of time with the Wave. 

There's the Packer clock, but more important the Packer stock.  Yup, Stew is a stockholder.  Reminded me of all the "Packer Sunday's", with our gear and the games on TV.  And one of my favorites quotes from Stewart after a Packer loss...."It's a good thing they win most of the time...".  He wasn't around in the 70's and 80's.

He took most of his bib numbers with him.  But he left a couple.  The one from the Samson Stomp (Zoo Fundraiser), and the 2004 Koman Race for the Cure.  I may have sighed him up for these and others, but he always was up for it when I would tell him it was for a good cause.

Then there are all the ribbons and medals from track and cross country events, from sixth grade through eight grade.  Made me think of all the kids that started running with him through fifth grade and wondered what happened to them along the way to high school and beyond. 

There is an arrow representing Stew's accomplishments during his three years of scouting.  I remember when he came home and said he wanted to be a Cub Scout.  I got to be the den mother.  We started off with Stew, Andrew, Vince, Eric and Tommy.  One by one they all moved on to other things, until Stew became a Lone Wolf.  He had to make a decision about continuing on to Boy Scouts or to keep playing soccer.  He chose soccer.  Think it was the first big decision he had to make.

He left a JV letter pinned to the wall.  I think it was from soccer when he was a freshman.  This made me think of all the sporting events in high school.  Couple of years of baseball and basketball, four years of track and soccer.  All the chasing around.  The all conference honors.....

He left his furry horned hat from his obstacle run when he was a freshman at SLU.  Seemed kind of odd to me.  From what I remember from the pictures his friends Jose and Matt and Dana were there as well.  Seeing as he lives with Jose and Matt now, looks like he found some good friends early on.  Actually reminds me of all of his friends at SLU.

Then there is the shelf that has been there forever.  There is a autographed baseball--none legible to me--but it reminds me of all the Brewer games, especially Stews first game with my Dad.  Was hoping there would have been more.  And an old Ford model car from Grampa Munger---made me thought of all the visits to Racine and later Florida.  Miss him too.  And there is Gramma Munger's "S" from Stevens Point.  I know that Stew always enjoys seeing her as well.

And there is a picture of my mom's dad with an earth moving machine.  I think she gave it to Stew when he was going through his truck stage.  And all that did was make me thing of how good she was to him and the Misses and me as far as watching the kids before they started school.  She hauled them everywhere, taught them so much, did so much with them.  Who the kids have become has a lot to do with those early years when she was watching them.

Elmo is still here.  We had Mr. Rodgers, a little Barney, Arthur, Magic School Bus, Kratt's Cratures.  But the favorite was always Sesame Street, and Elmo was always the favorite.  Elmo went everywhere with us for a while.  I miss Sesame Street sometimes....ya never knew who would show up.

Then I look out the window to this wonderful back yard.  To the corner where there was nothing but a pile of sand when we moved in, where Stew played with his trucks for hours.  Where we played catch, and swam in the family fun pool.  Where he played in the snow.  And on the jungle gym.  And all the kids who used to come over to play.  And where he and his sister sat on the deck that he helped me build  and watched the men plant the  maple.  And I look out the door and remember when he and his sister would sit at the top of the steps, waiting to see what Santa brought for Christmas.

So the pin holes are filled, the shelve is down and the walls are all painted.  The Misses says it will be a guest room.  To me it will always be Stew's room, filled with a kid's life of memories and accomplishments.  It was my pleasure to be able to share it with him.

Daddy's Little Girl Turns 21

This has been extremely difficult to write.  Perhaps it is because my darling little girl is a full grown adult now, and I'm in denial.  Maybe it's just that I can't believe she's all growed up now, and I miss my little girl.  Maybe I just need to face reality.....

My little Aleah has always been my special girl, ever since I got to help birth her.  She has always been a wonderful daughter and a great sister.  She is a great friend to have---loyal, considerate, always willing to help others.  She is industrious and resourceful.  She is smart and adventurous.  She has a great sense of humor and is a joy to be around.

I always said that Aleah was my grandmother reincarnated.  She always had sound advice--you should wear a hat, you should put on boots---just little things or a certain look.  We used to say she was an old soul.  Seemed like she always had some sage advice to give.

She was a younger sister, but never took a back seat to her brother.  She had to spend a lot of time with him and his friends traveling around to youth sports and whatnot when she was younger, but she never complained.  She and her brother were (and still are, as far as I know) best of friends.  They have never had a cross word between themselves--kind of weird to me, but what a blessing as a parent.

Aleah learned long ago that she could do anything she wanted to.  Whether it was learning to ride a bike or getting elected to student council to becoming a captain on her softball team, to going off to Minnesota for college, she has a way of making things happen.  Things may look like they come easily to her, but I know that she works hard at whatever she puts her mind to.  She gets things done.

She is not afraid of work.  Since she wad sixteen she has had a job or two all the time.  I don't think anyone told her to find work, she just did it on her own.  I think she did it because she likes to shop.  And I don't know anyone, including Mom, who does a better job of finding a deal on things.

Aleah has wonderful friends, and always has.  Whether they are kids she grew up with, or high school kids, or her college friends, she has always seemed to hang out with the "right" crowd.  I have never worried about where she was going or who she was hanging out with.  Again, good choices by her, blessings for the parents. 

And finally, she puts up with me.  She has had to put up with a lot.  Whether it's my funny jokes and comments to her and her friends to dragging her around to sporting events and fairs and what not, she has always been understanding of me.  Oh I get an eye roll every once in awhile, and I'm pretty sure I have upset her on more than one occasion, but we've always gotten along well I think.

So happy birthday young lady.  I hope that she knows how much I love her and care about her.  And how very proud of her I am.  She is a wonderful daughter, but an even better person.  I miss her dearly when she is not around, and truly cherish our time together.  She has been a joy and a pleasure to have around for these past twenty one years--I know she has made my life so much better.  She has accomplished so much, and has such a bright future....can't wait to see where it leads...love you darlin'.....

Leaving St. Louis

I have spent the last three days celebrating my son's graduation from St. Louis University.  I have had a wonderful time with my family as we recount his achievements and accomplishments.  I have enjoyed seeing and meeting his friends.  Today I will leave St. Louis, worried and sad.

I am a parent, so I get to worry about my boy.  I worry that he no longer has structure in his life.  No more track practice.  No more classes to get to, nothing to study for.  No more busses or planes to catch.  No reasons to get up early or not to stay up late.

I worry that he is worried that he hasn't found a job yet.  He is a teacher, and I know from experience that teaching positions, especially first ones, sometimes don't come until later in the summer.  Still I worry. 

I worry about where he is going to live.  Of course, this goes back to my previous worry, it depends on where he will be working.  He's got housing for a couple of more months, but they aren't going to let him live on campus forever.

I worry that he is going to be alone.  There is no family here.  And whether he likes it or not, his track family is scattering to all parts of the county.  They're off to Chicago and Texas and Washington and who knows where else.  Even the underclassmen go home for the summer.  I worry that not only does he have nothing to do, but nobody to do it with.

And I am sad, not only for my boy but for myself.  I actually don't know when I will see him again.  I can't look at the calendar and say track meet in two weeks, or Easter break in a month.  These things no longer exist for him, therefore for me either.  I am sad that I won't get to see some of his friends anymore, some who I have followed for the past four years.

As far as being sad though, I am mostly sad for my son that there are people who he has spent the majority of his time with for the last four years whom he probably will never see again.  People have come here from all over the country and world to learn and to compete.  He has spent countless hours with them, and suddenly you don't see them anymore.  They get jobs, move back home, live life.  You get busy with your life, and time takes it's toll.  All your left with are your memories.

So I leave St. Louis, worried and sad......

The Commencement Address

In a week or so here my son will graduate from college, and I will once again sit through a commencement address.  I think it will be my ninth one, and truth be known I don't remember a thing about any of them.  Since I am not rich, a politician, movie star or famous athlete, I have no fear of ever having to give a commencement address.  However, I have paid attention and read some things, and I would have some advice to share........

After the obligatory welcomes and opening remarks, I would start by congratulating all the new doctors and lawyers and teachers and accountants and scientists and all the other professions.  And I would challenge them not to be good at what they have chosen to do, but to be great, because we need great.  We have lots of problems in this world, and we're going to need great to solve them.  I would encourage them to find a job they really like.  I have known to many people who "hate my job".  Your are going to be working for a long time.  I'm not saying you need to love it, and sometimes you have to have to do what you have to do, but life will be better when you don't dread heading of to work.

Pay yourself first!!  I am sure everyone has heard this.  I know when you first start earning money you will think you're rich.  I know retirement is probably the last thing on your mind.  I also have learned the magic of compounding.  If these is an employer match, you need to contribute enough to have it kick in.  You will probably need to make sacrifices in what you want and can afford.  You will put off saving for your golden years.  Don't do it.  You're going to want to enjoy your old age, and it will be hard to do without planning.

The country and the world are magnificent places.  Get out and see as much of them as you possibly can.  I believe that there is so much to see and do you will never be able to do it all.  I encourage folks to travel to see the sights, learn the history, meet the people.  It's a really interesting country and world.  If I could, I would spend my money on experiences rather than possessions.  With apologies to the business graduates who want us to have more stuff, I would say the experiences are more valuable--and they take up less space!!

Take care of your health!!  With apologies to the new health care professionals, you will save a fortune by not having to visit these folks.  I'm not talking about well care and accidents here.  I'm talking about watching what you eat, getting some exercise, basic stuff like this.  Folks get diseases, break bones, have babies...we need the doctors for stuff like this.  Try not to put yourself in further peril by your actions or inactions.

Most of you probably will have families one day, spouses, partners, children.  Family life isn't always easy.  You will need to make sacrifices and compromise.  If you decide to have children, and then are lucky enough to have them, you will face more challenges.    Please don't be one of these folks I hear saying I can't wait for summer to be over so you can get back to school or I can't wait for you to grow up and move out.   You brought them into this world.  Cherish them, they will be gone soon enough.

Technology and innovations are moving at a tremendous pace.  I can't believe the changes in the last twenty five years or so.  You can basically walk around with the entire knowledge of the world in your pocket.  I would imagine that things will continue to evolve.  This being said, I would encourage you to take your ear buds out every once in awhile, turn off the phone, and actually talk with one another once in awhile.  People are interesting, and when you really think about it, we don't just talk with one another nearly as much as we should.

Try not to judge people before you get to know them.  People will give you plenty of reasons to either like or dislike them.  They don't choose their race, or where they're from, or who they love. These things really don't matter in the overall scheme of things. Don't use them in your judgment of them.

Life is not a spectator sport.  Get involved.  Whether it is coaching that little league team, volunteering at the soup kitchen or running for President, do something.  You can always do more.  Yes you can!  Will it be easy?  Nothing that is really worth it ever is really easy.  Don't settle.  Not in your personal life, not in your professional life, not in your spiritual life.  Average is not good enough.  You can do better.  You must do better.  You will do better.  I have confidence in you.

Finally, some final thoughts.  You have been given much, and earned much.  Much is now expected of you.  On your way up, try not to forget those not as fortunate.  Lend a hand where you can.  In the overall scheme of things, we are all only here for a spec of time.  Try to make the most of it.  It is truly a wonderful world.  You'll get through the rough times, try to enjoy the good.  You are our future, and we are depending on you.  I believe our future is in good hands.  Congratulations to you all.   You have already accomplished much.  Look forward to what is yet to come....